When I was 12 years old, my sister wed her boyfriend. She was 19 at the time, beautiful and shy, and madly in love. He was a handsome, rugged looking man with black hair and dark eyes. They were both very passionately in love.
Nobody would have guessed what their future held in store because there truly never was any foreshadowing sign that something would go wrong. But what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life turned out to be the beginning of 15 years of physical abuse.
And while she endured these 15 years, the rest of us - her family and friends – stood by, watching from the outside in, not knowing what to do, suffering silently along side her. Because the physical abuse didn’t start and end within their relationship: the consequences spilled over onto their three children and everybody else who knew them. We all suffered. Silently.
As a teenager, I often wondered why my sister didn’t just pack up and leave. Take the kids, grab a suitcase and run. I didn’t condemn her for staying, but I didn’t understand why she did. I loved my sister whole heartedly (and still do), so I did everything a young teenager could do to help out. If her husband was in jail for some reason or other, I would go spend time with her and help with the kids or with chores around the house. But I never once asked why she stayed with him. I never once passed judgement, because I simply didn’t understand.
I didn’t understand the immense fear that possessed my sister. And that fear was so deeply entrenched in her thoughts and emotions that she could not take that first step towards regaining her freedom and reclaiming her life. And none of us around her knew what to do, nor if anything could actually be done. I guess we all felt that fear. I guess we all let that fear take over our common sense.
Yet one day, for some reason, something changed. My sister decided she had had enough. Perhaps from courage or perhaps exhaustion, she decided to stop it all. She chose to leave her husband. Today, some 13 years later or so, my sister is living a life that she wants, deserves and loves.
This is why I choose to Walk. It’s why I choose to take a stand against violence in all its forms. Because I love my sister, and I never want to know of anyone else enduring such violence. And if my sister can take that courageous step towards a new life, then I can take a simple step in committing some time and energy in bringing an end to violence in my world.
In the last several years, I have chosen to do what I can to help bring an end to violence against women and children. I worked for the Montreal Assault Prevention Centre as a Child Abuse Prevention Project intervener, and today I Chair the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® Fundraising Campaign in Toronto for the White Ribbon Campaign.
I truly believe in my heart that if every person takes a step, a simple step such as participating in the walk, or donating money to the cause, or clothing to a shelter, or a listening ear to a person in need of help, then together we can create a world without violence, a world where no one lives in fear.
Join us on September 29, 2011 over the lunch hour at Yonge-Dundas Square to Walk A Mile in Her Shoes®.
Who are you willing to take steps for?
Louis-Michel Taillefer
Co-Chair Steering Committee
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® Toronto
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