Why I Walk by Kirsten Walkom

Why I Walk….

On January 28, 2010, I lost someone very important to me.  She was a friend, confidante and sister.  On January 28, 2010 someone else selfishly decided that he had the right to take her away from us, yet we are the ones who suffer for it.

I have always viewed myself and my friends as smart women.  We live our lives, but are cautious of our surroundings. We walk each other to the car, text when we get home and choose safe destinations.  As women, this is what we’ve been taught to do. 

My friend was a very smart woman and made the right choices.  In 2009 she decided to purchase her family home and live there alone.  This was her home, the one her father had built, where she played outside, where she and her brother held their mother’s hand when their father passed, where she had her first kiss, first sleepover and first real independence.  It was her’s and she felt safe there.  He took that away.

I have been told that the propensity of “stranger crime” is significantly less likely than that of someone you know. Which is why when my friend went missing, my friends and I willingly turned over every inch of her private life.  We provided details only friends would know, sought out people we barely knew and questioned those we did. 

On February 7, 2010 our worst fear came to light. My friend had been brutally assaulted, abducted and murdered, by a complete stranger.  She was gone.

For the next year we constantly found ourselves bombarded by the truth; the truth of his heinous crimes and the truth of our grief.  In October 2010, we all sat through a week of horror, only five feet away from him.  We listened to the torture he had not only subjected our friend to, but other innocent women as well.  All I could wonder was, why?

In November 2010, I walked into the White Ribbon Campaign office armed with a goal and desperately begging myself to hold it together, be the “professional Kirsten” that I knew I could be.  Within five minutes at White Ribbon I recognized that “why” didn’t matter.  He did not deserve my questions.  No answer from him as to “why” would ease my pain or bring her back. The real question was how.  How could I overcome my fear, my pain, and my anger?  How could I make a difference?  The how was sitting directly in front of me.

I walk because I believe women have a right to live their lives and still be safe.  I walk because I allowed him to let me question myself and my world.  I walk because I refuse to let him win.   I walk for all victims of gender-based violence. I walk because the White Ribbon Campaign educates men and women on gender equality, leading to a life without violence.  I walk for the strong men and women in my life. I walk for my partner who is a good man and has supported me no matter what.   I walk for those who can’t. I walk for the strength it gives me; strength my friend would applaud.  I walk because I will always walk for her.  I walk for me.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes gives men and women a chance to make a difference. I encourage you to go to: http://www.walkamiletoronto.org/ and join me!