Councillor Mike Layton WAMbushes Councillor Josh Matlow

On Friday September 16, 2011 Toronto City Councillor Mike Layton WAMBushed Councillor Josh Matlow to "Step Up" and join him on Sept 29th 2011 to Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® an fundraiser to support the White Ribbon Campaign and it's work to end violence against women. http://youtu.be/avonWb7bH8Y   For more info walkamiletoronto.org

What Does Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® Toronto Support!

All of the funds raised through Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® Toronto go to support the necessary work of the White Ribbon Campaign.  Last year the event raised $121,000 to assist the programs of the White Ribbon Campaign and its mission to create a future without violence against women. What is the White Ribbon Campaign (WRC)? The White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) is the largest effort in the world of men working to end violence against women.  Now in over sixty countries, volunteer campaigns are led by both men and women at a grassroots level.  Across Canada our focus is on engaging youth on the issue of gender equality, respect and healthy relationships so as to build character and create good citizens.

   Accomplishments with limited resources

With a Staff of 5, a few volunteers, a donated office space and no core funding; WRC now supports activities in over 60 countries, works in communities in the GTA and across Canada, advises the United Nations and many governments and NGOs on how to work with men and boys to end gender based violence. Last year WRC distributed approx. 200,000 white ribbons globally. Connected with over 4,000 youth in the GTA – a 400% increase from previous years Provided technical assistance and consultation to the Secretary General at UN, and the governments of Cape Verde, Mexico, Brazil, Nepal and many others. 291 physical Campaign’s in a Box distributed for use with 8-14 yr old students. 300 educators trained. An increase of 65% over the previous year.

What is the goal of WRC?  How is this accomplished

The main goal of WRC is ending violence against women in all its forms. We accomplish this in five ways: Challenging everyone to speak out, and think about their own beliefs, language and actions. Educating young people, especially young men and boys, on the issue through the educational resources we produce. Raising public awareness of the issue. Working in partnership with women’s organizations, the corporate sector, the media and other partners to create a future with no violence against women. Supporting White Ribbon Campaigns around the world. Violence against women in Canada is alarming! • Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted • Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16 • Physical and sexual abuse against women costs Canada $4.2 billion each year (factoring into account social services, shelters, criminal justice, productivity, and health care interventions).

Awareness and Prevention the Long Term Solution

Violence against women is a real issue here in Canada - White Ribbon Campaign is doing something about it! White Ribbon Campaign is the only national organization working on the prevention of violence against women by positively engaging young men and boys, educators, parents and communities on the role and responsibility they can play. We have a specific focus on investing in youth and harnessing the positive roles that parents, coaches, educators and community leaders play in promoting gender equality, respect, and healthy relationships.    Our grass roots approach inspires individuals and communities to action, while supporting them with the necessary outreach tools to provide a lasting long term solution. OUR PROGRAMS - Part of the Solution! It Starts with You It Stays with Him This United Nations recognized program is an online-based campaign developed by the White Ribbon Campaign and Le Centre ontarien de prévention des agressions to inspire men to promote healthy equal relationships with the boys in their lives.  It is aimed at coaching boys (age 8 – 14) into manhood through an internet based, social media awareness campaigns and a comprehensive supporting website that encourages, empowers, inspires, and supports men in valuing women as equals, showing empathy, and teaching the skills and benefits of healthy and equal relationships to the young people in their lives. www.itstartswithyou.ca Education and Action Kit •          A teacher resource on gender inequality, healthy relationships & ending violence against women •          Reached over 3000 schools in Canada & United States •          An Independent evaluation in 2004 showed  "strong evidence that the Education and Action Kit effectively influences teenagers' attitudes, knowledge, and behaviour regarding violence against women.“ •          Available in 4 versions: High school, middle school and both in Canadian & US editions Campaign in a Box •          Ready to use educational activities for teachers and community leaders •          Social norms tools that address the gap in perceived and real group norms of how youth feel about violence against women, gender equality and healthy relationships Boys Conference •          An annual conference in partnership with the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario •          Takes place in the GTA, and 6 other communities in Ontario with hopes to expand across the country in the future. •          Bring boys together to discuss issues of equality, respect, and healthy relationships. •          Full day event approx 100 boys aged 10 – 14 from 10 different schools •          25 teachers were present and attended a workshop on the WRC and using our materials in the classroom. Public Awareness – Choices Campaign •          Through provocative campaigns we encourage men and boys to think about their use of language, and of their definition of strength •          Designed to confront men with use of language and the meaning of symbols about which their choices make a difference in ending violence against women •          Designed to bring men closer to appreciating the conditions and fear of violence that women live under International Network – MenEngage •          Working on the Steering Committee of an international network to address working with men and boys to end gender based violence •          Founding members include: Engender Health (USA – South Africa), Instituto Promundo (Brazil), Save the Children (Sweden and Denmark), Sonke Gender Justice Project (South Africa), SAHAYOG (India), White Ribbon Campaign (Canada), Planned Parenthood International (London, UK) Making Positive Change Together We believe that by focusing our efforts on educating young men and boys we will make a positive change in their development to being men.  Men that do not use violence toward women.  Although specific projects may be supported by the government, we do not receive any core funding support from any level of government. We rely solely on individual and corporate fundraising, project specific government funding, and our own fundraising events like Walk A Mile In Her Shoes®

By participating in Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® you are helping to fund these project and activities of  the White Ribbon Campaign and together we are creating a future without violence against women.  

THANK YOU!

Why I Walk by Kirsten Walkom

Why I Walk….

On January 28, 2010, I lost someone very important to me.  She was a friend, confidante and sister.  On January 28, 2010 someone else selfishly decided that he had the right to take her away from us, yet we are the ones who suffer for it.

I have always viewed myself and my friends as smart women.  We live our lives, but are cautious of our surroundings. We walk each other to the car, text when we get home and choose safe destinations.  As women, this is what we’ve been taught to do. 

My friend was a very smart woman and made the right choices.  In 2009 she decided to purchase her family home and live there alone.  This was her home, the one her father had built, where she played outside, where she and her brother held their mother’s hand when their father passed, where she had her first kiss, first sleepover and first real independence.  It was her’s and she felt safe there.  He took that away.

I have been told that the propensity of “stranger crime” is significantly less likely than that of someone you know. Which is why when my friend went missing, my friends and I willingly turned over every inch of her private life.  We provided details only friends would know, sought out people we barely knew and questioned those we did. 

On February 7, 2010 our worst fear came to light. My friend had been brutally assaulted, abducted and murdered, by a complete stranger.  She was gone.

For the next year we constantly found ourselves bombarded by the truth; the truth of his heinous crimes and the truth of our grief.  In October 2010, we all sat through a week of horror, only five feet away from him.  We listened to the torture he had not only subjected our friend to, but other innocent women as well.  All I could wonder was, why?

In November 2010, I walked into the White Ribbon Campaign office armed with a goal and desperately begging myself to hold it together, be the “professional Kirsten” that I knew I could be.  Within five minutes at White Ribbon I recognized that “why” didn’t matter.  He did not deserve my questions.  No answer from him as to “why” would ease my pain or bring her back. The real question was how.  How could I overcome my fear, my pain, and my anger?  How could I make a difference?  The how was sitting directly in front of me.

I walk because I believe women have a right to live their lives and still be safe.  I walk because I allowed him to let me question myself and my world.  I walk because I refuse to let him win.   I walk for all victims of gender-based violence. I walk because the White Ribbon Campaign educates men and women on gender equality, leading to a life without violence.  I walk for the strong men and women in my life. I walk for my partner who is a good man and has supported me no matter what.   I walk for those who can’t. I walk for the strength it gives me; strength my friend would applaud.  I walk because I will always walk for her.  I walk for me.

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes gives men and women a chance to make a difference. I encourage you to go to: http://www.walkamiletoronto.org/ and join me!

A tribute to Jack Layton co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign

The entire White Ribbon Campaign (WRC) family is shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of Jack Layton today. He died peacefully with his family by his side. We extend our deepest condolences to Olivia, Mike and Sarah and his entire great, big family.

Jack was one of the co-founders and visionaries of the WRC, back in 1991. He felt men had to have both a role and responsibility in working to end violence against women, that we needed to step up our efforts in promoting gender equality, and be accountable to challenging the most harmful aspects of masculinity.

Along with Michael Kaufman, Ron Sluser and others, Jack launched his indefatigable energy into the WRC. Recently his son Mike shared with me the fact that the very first WRC office was actually in Mike’s bedroom – the bed just got cleaned off when Mike was back home from school!

I have talked to many men who never otherwise would have understood the positive role they could play in working to end violence against women, if it weren’t for Jack. Handing out ribbons in Union Station, making donations, offering up everything from office space to websites, few people could effectively say no to him when it came to the WRC.

From those humble beginnings, WRC is now the world’s largest effort of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls. From Mike’s bedroom to over 60 countries around the world, men have taken up the dream of ending gender based violence. Governments around the world, NGO’s, and the UN have all recognized the importance of this effort.

This is a truly remarkable accomplishment, one that would not have happened without Jack. As one small piece of his legacy, it will continue to have a tremendous impact.

When I took on the role of Executive Director at WRC, I had the chance early on to meet with Jack one-on-one. While he freely shared stories from those early years, it was very clear his intentions were not to discuss the past with me, but the future.

He felt the time was right for great things to happen, for men to begin to move en masse to this idea that we could do better, be more caring and compassionate in our lives. That as men we could stop being afraid of equality, that we could stop being defensive about male privilege, that we could embrace the fact that we all benefit from a world with less violence against women and girls, and ultimately against each other.

I am honoured to call Jack an inspiration, a mentor, and a friend. Another time, feeling overwhelmed by the scope of the work, he told me “Always have a dream that will outlast your lifetime,” and I have thought about our work to end violence against women in that way ever since.

There are too many dreams left after your passing my friend.

But I choose to leave with another favourite quote of yours, “Don’t ever let them tell you it can’t be done.” Rest in peace Jack, we will all miss you dearly.

Todd Minerson
Executive Director
White Ribbon Campaign

Where do I get the shoes to walk in?

One of the most common questions we get as the organizers of Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® is, "Where do I go to find shoes to fit me?"

We know it's not always easy finding shoes, especially if you are a man's size 10 and above.  So we put together a video of a recent shopping excursions to give you some help.  Near the end of the video we also give you tips and advice for when shopping for your shoes and how to help alleviate the potential fear and discomfort some men experience when out shopping.   

Walk a Mile in my Shoes! - by Andrea Waddell

When people tell me I shouldn’t go for a run when it’s dark outside (because I’m just ‘asking for trouble’ from ‘dangerous characters’), I usually respond with my fairly standard snarky retort: “Well, don’t you think these ‘dangerous characters’ you’re referring to are the ones that need to stay indoors?”

So when I was asked to write a piece on what it’s like to walk in my shoes, as a woman what precautions I take to remain safe, I didn’t expect the list to be very extensive. I’m not the paranoid type, and I’ve never been a fan of running personal surveillance on myself; having to plan my life around what ‘might’ or ‘could’ happen.  I still run late at night, have lived and traveled on my own, and so far, I’ve been lucky....

But despite my resistance, there are plenty of small precautionary measures I take to increase my odds of safety without sacrificing my lifestyle. These have become so habitual, to the point where I didn’t even realize the extent of them all until I started writing about it.

Here are just a few:

Walking alone late at night:

When walking late at night, I’m extra aware of my surroundings.

·         I walk in well lit areas if the option is available.

·         If there are two sides of the street to choose from, I pick the one with the most light and activity, so there are more people around.

·         If possible, I let people know where I’m going to be, with my expected arrival time.

·         If I know I’m going to be walking alone late at night I also make sure I’m wearing the most comfortable shoes possible. If I’m going out for a night of dancing, I pick the worn-in heels!

·         I don’t listen to my iPod (So I can hear what’s going on around me);

·         And sometimes I even call a friend.  I feel safer knowing that if anything were to happen, someone would immediately know something was wrong.

When using a car alone:

Whether I’m driving to an appointment or the grocery store there are a few things I’m always cognizant of when parking and returning to my parked car.

• I lock the doors as soon as I’m out of the vehicle.
• When I’m heading to the parking lot again, I try and find my keys inside the building so I’m not digging through my Mary Poppins’ abyss of a purse! 
• Upon returning I look inside the vehicle to see if anything looks out of place and to see if anyone is hiding inside.

• If it looks fine, I quickly look around and make sure no one is close by before unlocking and entering the vehicle.
• If someone is getting into the car beside mine on the driver’s side, I wait.
• I don’t unlock the car until I’ve checked it out and I’m right beside the driver’s side door - even then, I only unlock the driver’s door.
• Upon entering the car I lock ALL the doors immediately.

A few other little things I do just to be safe:

• I avoid renting apartments on the first floor.
• Same goes for hotel rooms. I always try and stay off street level. If I have to be on street level, I pick a suite without direct access to the outside/street.

So, what’s the verdict - Am I paranoid, over the top? Not even close… but I am surprised at how many precautionary (albeit unconscious/habitual) measures I take to help avoid potentially dangerous situations. And I’m fairly certain I’m just scratching the surface when it comes to the things women do to increase their level of safety.

But here’s the thing…So what. Why does this list of precautionary measures matter? For me, the answer lies in why I walk.  Women deserve to BE and FEEL safe, and the White Ribbon Campaign is dedicated, and has been for the over 20 years, to help women and men like myself who believe that a future without violence is possible, and hopefully within our lifetime.

For all the women reading this post I would urge you to take a moment and share what it’s like to walk in YOUR shoes with the men in your life. Encourage them to join you on Sept. 29^th at Yonge-Dundas Square to gain a little insight into what it’s like to walk in YOUR shoes. 

And men, for all the amazing women in your life, come to Yonge-Dundas Square, lend your support and experience what its like- if only for a mile- to walk in women’s shoes.

In the words of a popular TV sitcom character, “Challenge Extended!” 

Why I Walk a Mile in Her Shoes?

When I was 12 years old, my sister wed her boyfriend. She was 19 at the time, beautiful and shy, and madly in love. He was a handsome, rugged looking man with black hair and dark eyes. They were both very passionately in love.

Nobody would have guessed what their future held in store because there truly never was any foreshadowing sign that something would go wrong. But what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life turned out to be the beginning of 15 years of physical abuse.

And while she endured these 15 years, the rest of us - her family and friends – stood by, watching from the outside in, not knowing what to do, suffering silently along side her. Because the physical abuse didn’t start and end within their relationship: the consequences spilled over onto their three children and everybody else who knew them. We all suffered. Silently.

As a teenager, I often wondered why my sister didn’t just pack up and leave. Take the kids, grab a suitcase and run. I didn’t condemn her for staying, but I didn’t understand why she did. I loved my sister whole heartedly (and still do), so I did everything a young teenager could do to help out. If her husband was in jail for some reason or other, I would go spend time with her and help with the kids or with chores around the house. But I never once asked why she stayed with him. I never once passed judgement, because I simply didn’t understand.

I didn’t understand the immense fear that possessed my sister. And that fear was so deeply entrenched in her thoughts and emotions that she could not take that first step towards regaining her freedom and reclaiming her life.  And none of us around her knew what to do, nor if anything could actually be done.  I guess we all felt that fear. I guess we all let that fear take over our common sense.

Yet one day, for some reason, something changed. My sister decided she had had enough. Perhaps from courage or perhaps exhaustion, she decided to stop it all. She chose to leave her husband. Today, some 13 years later or so, my sister is living a life that she wants, deserves and loves.

This is why I choose to Walk. It’s why I choose to take a stand against violence in all its forms. Because I love my sister, and I never want to know of anyone else enduring such violence. And if my sister can take that courageous step towards a new life, then I can take a simple step in committing some time and energy in bringing an end to violence in my world.

In the last several years, I have chosen to do what I can to help bring an end to violence against women and children. I worked for the Montreal Assault Prevention Centre as a Child Abuse Prevention Project intervener, and today I Chair the Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® Fundraising Campaign in Toronto for the White Ribbon Campaign.

I truly believe in my heart that if every person takes a step, a simple step such as participating in the walk, or donating money to the cause, or clothing to a shelter, or a listening ear to a person in need of help, then together we can create a world without violence, a world where no one lives in fear.

Join us on September 29, 2011 over the lunch hour at Yonge-Dundas Square to Walk A Mile in Her Shoes®.  

Who are you willing to take steps for?

Louis-Michel Taillefer

Co-Chair Steering Committee

Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® Toronto